Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................
Friday, January 23, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
I know it is called Cat Post, but still... this is cute
Take a look at this really cute video... click here
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Write Something Other Than 'Poo.'
Just figured I'd pop the very first post on this blog. I'm pretty jazzed that my wonderful wife and I are gonna do a blog together about a piece of our lives that's SO fun: our cats.
Before I met Catherine, I LITERALLY hated cats. I thought they smelled foul, were extremely selfish and lacked capacity to care for anyone but themselves. Although, prior to Cat (my wife) coming into my life, I did find some connection with a cat I lived with for a couple of months, Merlin. He was a crazy bastard that used to LOVE to use my top-end Advent speakers as a step to his post on top of my bearded dragon cage. He would knock all sorts of stuff over and I'd run out of the bedroom yelling my @$$ off at him. In addition to this wonderful little act, Merrlin also used to love to steal socks. Sometimes underwear, but mostly socks. He would take them and hide them under our standing tub in the bathroom. In fact, he is the main reason for me making a huge change in my highly habitual life. I began rolling my socks up like a slepping bag and folding over the top edge instead of just a plain half-fold, like I'd done for the rest of my life. To someone as patterned as me, this is a MAJOR deal. MAN, that cat was a reall bugger! Nevertheless, I also learned a side of Merlin that was very different. I love to watch movies and, when I'd be home watching movies in my living room alone, Merlin would appear with a bouncy rubber ball and stand in the doorway, lazily kicking it to me. After only 2 days or so, I was completely trained. I picked the ball up and threw it towards the hallway in a crazy attempt to bounce it down the stairs of my apartment. The instant the ball left my hand the very first time I did this, Merlin was off after it. He bounded down the stairs and I would hear him crash into the oddly positioned door at the very bottom of the stairs with a loud crash. Then, I'd hear those happy sounding paws jaunting back up the spiraling stairwell, where he would appear out of the dark and into the doorway, gripping the bouncy ball in his maw. He dropped that ball the first time.. looked at me.. looked at the ball by his paw.. looked back at me.. looked back at the ball.. and gently rolled it in my direction. I picked the ball up then and learned the concept, 'You do not train the cat. The cat trains you.' Amazing stuff. In addition, a few times when I was VERY sad, I found Merlin pawing at the door to my separated apartment (I moved next door). He wanted to be near me.. sensed my sadness. I would let him in and he'd hang out very close. He was such a sweetie. But still a royal pain in my @$$.
Since then, I've known many more cats and really felt strong bonds there. It's a completely different thing, being friends with a cat. I love it and feel so blessed to have learned cats. My intention with this blog is to share what my cats have taught me about life and the bigger picture, how they've changed me for the better and how they've managed to help me heal myself in many ways.. even though I'm allergic to them. :) Thanks,
Aubrey
Before I met Catherine, I LITERALLY hated cats. I thought they smelled foul, were extremely selfish and lacked capacity to care for anyone but themselves. Although, prior to Cat (my wife) coming into my life, I did find some connection with a cat I lived with for a couple of months, Merlin. He was a crazy bastard that used to LOVE to use my top-end Advent speakers as a step to his post on top of my bearded dragon cage. He would knock all sorts of stuff over and I'd run out of the bedroom yelling my @$$ off at him. In addition to this wonderful little act, Merrlin also used to love to steal socks. Sometimes underwear, but mostly socks. He would take them and hide them under our standing tub in the bathroom. In fact, he is the main reason for me making a huge change in my highly habitual life. I began rolling my socks up like a slepping bag and folding over the top edge instead of just a plain half-fold, like I'd done for the rest of my life. To someone as patterned as me, this is a MAJOR deal. MAN, that cat was a reall bugger! Nevertheless, I also learned a side of Merlin that was very different. I love to watch movies and, when I'd be home watching movies in my living room alone, Merlin would appear with a bouncy rubber ball and stand in the doorway, lazily kicking it to me. After only 2 days or so, I was completely trained. I picked the ball up and threw it towards the hallway in a crazy attempt to bounce it down the stairs of my apartment. The instant the ball left my hand the very first time I did this, Merlin was off after it. He bounded down the stairs and I would hear him crash into the oddly positioned door at the very bottom of the stairs with a loud crash. Then, I'd hear those happy sounding paws jaunting back up the spiraling stairwell, where he would appear out of the dark and into the doorway, gripping the bouncy ball in his maw. He dropped that ball the first time.. looked at me.. looked at the ball by his paw.. looked back at me.. looked back at the ball.. and gently rolled it in my direction. I picked the ball up then and learned the concept, 'You do not train the cat. The cat trains you.' Amazing stuff. In addition, a few times when I was VERY sad, I found Merlin pawing at the door to my separated apartment (I moved next door). He wanted to be near me.. sensed my sadness. I would let him in and he'd hang out very close. He was such a sweetie. But still a royal pain in my @$$.
Since then, I've known many more cats and really felt strong bonds there. It's a completely different thing, being friends with a cat. I love it and feel so blessed to have learned cats. My intention with this blog is to share what my cats have taught me about life and the bigger picture, how they've changed me for the better and how they've managed to help me heal myself in many ways.. even though I'm allergic to them. :) Thanks,
Aubrey
My Big Fat Cat Blog
Sitting here with an 'enlightened mind', Aubrey and I decided to create a blog about our cats. Rught now though, we are going to go and make out, so we will have to write more later....
Tootles!
Tootles!
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